BISCUITS AND GRAVY AT THE OTIS CAFÉ
by oyl miller
published 7-11-2005

OTIS, OR -- Imagine if you will, four fist-sized clouds hovering atop an oversized oval dinner plate.

OK, then add an evenly poured blanket of air smooth gravy complete with edible constellations of delicious sausage bits, diced onions and the trademark Otis Café secret seasoning.

Next imagine being handed a fork from the waitress that bears the enchanted honor of consuming the fluffy breakfast entrée that lies before you.

Without considering the gravity of the situation or even altering the pressure of your swipe, your fork strikes plate; effortlessly severing a mouthful of homemade biscuit entirely covered in equally homemade gravy.

You move to spear the biscuit, but the tongs of your approaching utensil cause the biscuit to crumble even further, emitting the same buttery aroma that emanates from the diner's kitchen.   Your best plan of attack for a breakfast item this supple is to enlist the surrounding gravy as a congealing agent to summon the various clusters of fallen biscuit to your mouth.   Once your fork is amply loaded, take it carefully to your mouth, (Disclaimer: Many quivering lips have been speared during the rush of sensorial excitement by overanxious forks. Take it slow.)

Once in contact with the inside of your mouth, you will notice the biscuit begin to liquefy into its native state before evaporating into a warm aura of buttery exclamation that is further enhanced by the surrounding gravy.

At this point, please put the fork down and simply enjoy the first mouthful.   There will be minimal need for chewing since the biscuit takes mere seconds to transform into the identical consistency as the gravy.

Resist the urge to scarf the remaining biscuits. Remain cool and collected as you attack the remaining biscuity nimbuses in a methodical manner that will ensure the highest levels of enjoyment.

A simple glass of ice water serves as an excellent sidekick to this meal. It provides for an ideal hot and then cool eating experience and also serves to periodically wipe the memory from your overly-stimulated taste buds.

(Recommended ice water consumption: Three medium sips after the completion of each biscuit.)

The full order of Biscuits and Gravy is approximately one and a half meals, and could easily serve as a stand-alone dinner entrée.

I recommend ordering the half serving of 'B & G', thus leaving you space for one of the Otis Café's many acclaimed side dishes. (Their hashbrowns are literally world famous as they reached the pages of the New York Times in 1988) They also masterfully prepare bacon, sausage and their signature molasses bread toast.